There are, to my mind, two reasons to remake a Disney classic. The first is simply to retell the story using improved cinematic techniques and use live action (I'll always prefer live action to animation, so sue me); this method also should involve some small alteration to the story, making it timely or less problematic or more revealing. Think Beauty and the Beast and The Jungle Book. The second is to take the bones of the original and totally re-dress it for more or less "new" purposes; think Dumbo and Pete's Dragon.
The Lion King does neither, and takes a different path (let's hope this new venture dead-ends quickly). The newest in a laundry list of Disney flicks is very nearly a shot-for-shot remake of the original animated film. While I've never felt as passionately about the groundbreaking original as many do, I was excited for this film because of the live-action aspect of it (actually, I don't think this counts as live-action; perhaps lifelike-action?). And this is indeed gorgeous to behold. The realized animals are nothing short of dazzling on the big screen.
In fact, this film is so incredibly lifelike that more than once I felt I was watching a DisneyNature documentary set to Hans Zimmer's iconic music. It's an amazing work of art, especially in some of the hyper-realistic storytelling techniques director Jon Favreau is pioneering lately. For example, "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" features the little cubs and their animal friends singing and causing chaos at the water hole; unlike the cartoon's circus fantasy version of this song, this film depicts a more or less realistic version of baby animals playing around. It's no less entertaining, and really fascinating from an artistic perspective.
Other than a few such moments of realistic beauty -- and the general gorgeous aesthetic of the film -- nothing else whatsoever provides a reason for this version to exist. There is no buttressing of the story with new episodes, no new songs (or additional ones from, for example, the stage musical), no thematic or character shifts. We do get some extra time with Sarabi (Alfre Woodard, thank heaven), and hints at feminist energy. Early on, when Zazu (John Oliver) warns Mufasa (James Earl Jones) that hyenas are in the land and the lionnesses are fighting them, Mufasa goes to "help", rather than save or some other hooey. In one critical moment, much later as Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) attempts to induce Sarabi to mate with him, he says that Mufasa is only king because Sarabi chose him, suggesting Sarabi is actually the royalty of the Pridelands. Interesting, if empty.
Worse yet, the voice actors are almost entirely phoned-in, at least to my ears. Beyonce (as Nala) and Woodard are lovely as always, but don't get to do much in the way of acting. Donald Glover (playing Simba) and Ejiofor are downright uninspired, sounding bored at best, and James Earl Jones sounds as though he's been doing Mufasa in his sleep for decades (he probably has). Oliver's Zazu is fine and Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen are absolutely hilarious as Timon and Pumbaa, but it's hard to swallow that in such a talented cast, only the white guys get to have fun and steal the show.
And speaking of fun, I had lots of fun in the first half of this movie. The hyenas are, unfortunately, not so funny but rather dangerous. Which is fine, if disappointing. Similarly, Scar is too deadpan and bitter to be an exciting villain; he's chilling, to be sure, but never memorable. Perhaps that's why they cut his song: "Be Prepared" is the film's biggest disappointment, as the second half of the song is entirely cut and the first half consists of Ejiofor growling and shouting. Why? The man can sing, so let him sing!
By the second half, the disappointments came more steadily. Rafiki is barely a character and totally forgettable. When Simba looks into the sky to see his father, all we see are swirling clouds. In the climactic fight atop Pride Rock, the editing jerks us between unidentifiable shapes with little or no logic or clarity of vision. I got downright angry when Beyonce's glorious new song "Spirit" is cut to about a chorus and a bridge, and only played as background music as Nala and Simba race across the desert.
It's all beautiful and disappointing, even for someone like me who doesn't much care about the original. Give me the stage musical any day.
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