Uncharted (2022)

 Score: 2.5 / 5

Anchors aweigh! It feels like ages since we got a swashbuckling adventure movie, and Uncharted delivers on its promise in just about every way. I'm not familiar with the video game series source material, but by some accounts those games are among the most popular and esteemed of Sony's catalog. This movie doesn't always feel like it was adapted from games -- there tends to be a similar aesthetic -- but when it does, it does. We go from occasionally heartfelt drama to galleons flying through the air, so you have to suspend a lot of expectation for realism, but this movie reminded me more closely of National Treasure with a dash of Indiana Jones thrown in. Not terribly smart, but a lot of fun, and we get some eye candy along the way.

Directed by Ruben Fleischer (Venom, Gangster Squad), the film opens with a bang: Tom Holland -- looking not unlike Brendan Fraser in The Mummy -- clinging to supply boxes dangling out of a cargo plane. We're suddenly shifted to Holland as a young boy, and we learn his character is Nate Drake, as he attempts to steal an artifact from a museum with his older brother. Once caught, his brother is kicked out and promises to return to Nate. Apparently that doesn't happen, as we jump ahead fifteen years to Nate bartending and pickpocketing his patrons. It's an odd casting choice; obviously Holland is eminently bankable, but his boyish good looks and higher voice don't quite match the ruff and rugged vibe of the Drake character. He tries, bless him, by wearing leather and bulking up a lot from his Spider-man look, but he can't quite shake the impression that he is playing dress-up as an adventure hero. His sleight of hand is more in line with Oliver Twist than his badassery is with Lara Croft. 

At his bar, he's approached by Mark Wahlberg -- frankly, looking and acting exactly as I expect Holland will one day -- and the story proper gets underway. Wahlberg's character Sully recently was exploring with Nate's brother and together they stole an old diary promising to lead them to an ancient treasure from Magellan's historic voyage. Globetrotting and stealing are both easy enough for these two (surprising if they're merely thieves), though they have a rocky start when it comes to trusting each other. Once they cross paths with Chloe (beautiful and talented Sophia Ali), an old teammate of Sully's, things really get going quickly, and I lost track of the plot's intricacies. Or perhaps I should say complexities, because there's very little that's intricate in this film.

It's a muscly, rollicking adventure from start to finish, and it works hard to overcome the typical video-game-adaptation problem of not having enough heart. There are many "emotional" scenes in this film that seem catered to Holland's penchant for teary-eyed stares, and for the most part they help disguise the feeling of action obsession. But between some truly outrageous set pieces -- when we get to the completely bonkers cargo plane episode, the auditorium was bubbling with audible laughter rather than gasps or cheers -- and a lackluster villain, this movie reveals that there's just not much substance to be enjoyed. I mean, Antonio Banderas is the villain, and it feels like he's in about three scenes before he's suddenly and bloodlessly dispatched. I couldn't help but feel his part was probably truncated by at least half. Then again, his main minion (Tati Gabrielle) is never less than entrancing to watch.

It's also decidedly safe in terms of content for a PG-13 movie. Not just in terms of sex or violence, although precious little of either is present here, but even in terms of plot, character, and humor. There are so few earned laughs in this movie that I think most of it was played earnestly; for something so laughable, it should be riotously funny. But it's rarely humorous, and rarely very serious, which makes the flavor of the whole film -- felt most strongly in its meandering middle section -- tepid and vague. There's also precious little that grounds the film in reality visually, as so much relies on digital effects and green screens that it occasionally felt like we were actually watching a video game on a huge screen. Perhaps some more world building, character development, or even a simpler and more fleshy plot would have done the trick. Perhaps playing the game is a better investment. I'll leave that for others to determine, but I had an entertainingly diverting two hours with this picture.

Venom (2018)

Score: 4 / 5

Deadpool can take a seat. Venom was always my favorite antihero in the Marvel comics. Funny and clever without relying on vulgarity, Venom also works well because he's just terrifying. A sentient alien blob who melds its form with that of its host, the Symbiote known as Venom allowed Marvel comics to tap into anxieties about alien life, parasites, and the age-old problem of doubles. The character is a novel spin on the Jekyll/Hyde relationship (or the Hulk situation) in which the two consciousnesses -- human and alien -- are in constant dialogue. And we're privy to it! "We are Venom," indeed.

Venom is a fine origin story, but it's a fabulous flick in its own right. Blending action with hardcore body horror, the film is a sort of breathless race to its finish line, wherein we laugh as we cringe and sit there in awe as it takes us on a wild ride. Its drastic tonal shifts might put some viewers off, but for me this structure effectively put me in the headspace of the character. It's weird. It's supposed to be weird. And in a field of far too many superheroes for our cultural good, Venom bravely carves out a space for itself.

Here's the deal: If you go in not wanting to enjoy the movie, you will hate it. If you actively fight its simplistic turns and whirlwind of plot points and action, you will hate it. But if, like Eddie Brock, you allow yourself to submit, Venom will give you satisfaction and a new appreciation for what it's trying to do.

I'm not going to waste time with the plot, because you know it. And if you don't, go see the movie and you will learn. The film's energy and style really worked well for me until the climax. Though the film relies on Tom Hardy's performance, the moments of action often rely on visual effects; the climax becomes an absolute mess of confused images and blurred action in a fully computer-generated realm. It's not appealing, and it's all too common in superhero movies these days. Thankfully, it doesn't last long.

Tom Hardy delivers his usual excellent craft as host Eddie Brock, but here he imbues the character with a magnificently dry sense of humor that mixes flawlessly with Venom's bloodthirsty earnestness. It's also a refreshing view in our times of a world-weary but genuinely content reporter who enjoys speaking truth to power. Michelle Williams shows up as his ex and also new love interest, and though I feared the film would squander her -- and it kind of does -- she shows up in a few lovely scenes, especially near the end when Venom bonds with her for a hot (and pretty queer!) moment. And Riz Ahmed is just wonderful, always. Here he's an idealistic scientist trying to perfect the human species by looking to the stars; he gets his comeuppance when another Symbiote bonds with him and they become Riot.

An interesting correlation presents itself between this film and Upgrade, which came out earlier this year. That film starred Logan Marshall-Green, who I've often called the poor man's Tom Hardy. And while it seems likely that Venom had a larger budget, I'd argue that Upgrade more effectively captures the body horror and marries it to a unique aesthetic vision. But there's no doubt Venom has a lot more fun doing it. I mean, it's absurd that this parasitic bond-turned-bromance relies on one half trying to stop the other from biting off people's heads, but the film owns it absolutely. And by the end, their relationship is even endearing. That's no small feat. All that said, it's also fair to maybe rethink the labels we use here: Venom resides comfortably in that uncomfortable space between antihero and full-on villain, and we need to be okay with that.

Some people lament that Venom won't work without Spider-man. I did. But then I saw this movie. And I'm ready for a sequel already. And, given the mid-credits scene, I'm praying it's Carnage.

IMDb: Venom