Score: 2 / 5
Did you ever visit "Chuck E. Cheese" as a kid? In the '90s, it was a pretty cool place, with ball pits and climbing pipes and Skee-ball; they had a few interactive video games like a Jurassic Park jeep you drove to escape dinosaurs, but it was mostly arcade-style games. My family went for several years to celebrate my birthday, and it was always a blast, cheap toy prizes and all. I won a pair of fuzzy dice once and I still have them along with the memories. The only icky thing I remember -- well, "icky" is relative, because of course the pizza grease-smeared ball pits were icky by today's standards -- was the band of animatronic characters. They always played fun music, but they were kind of creepy due to their massive size, jerky movements, and general oddness. Maybe it's a "me" thing, but I don't generally like large, loud anthropomorphic animals, whether they are costumes or robots.
So I was about as hopeful for this movie as I was for M3gan and Child's Play, which is to say, not particularly excited but curious enough to get a ticket. After all, with Josh Hutcherson starring, Matthew Lillard in the cast, and a trailer that looked much darker than it had any right to, Five Nights at Freddy's looked to be a fun time! I've not played the games -- didn't even know they existed until this year -- but based on a few YouTube clips I watched in preparation, they seem to be first-person survival games where you can't fight or even really run so much as watch and react (such as watch security monitors and close doors) to try and protect yourself. So, given a cinematic adaptation, the franchise would surely do well with suspense in the Hitchcockian manner: a sort of creeping voyeuristic dread when things at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza start going bump in the night.
Unfortunately, that's not the movie presented to us just in time for Halloween. Instead, the film tries to straddle the line between tragic character drama and something like a PG-13 version of Saw, succeeding at neither genre and only marginally succeeding at much in the way of entertainment. For its horror elements, I was surprised by the amount of blood actually shown, but very little in the film was effectively scary. A few jump scares were nice, but they were mostly the result of clever editing and musical stings. The animatronic characters are lumbering and dull; apart from eye-catching design elements (apparently they were brought to life by Jim Henson's Creature Shop), they're more akin to Boris Karloff's Frankenstein monster in terms of pitiful awkwardness. Unless, that is, you have an innate discomfort around puppets and robots, in which case you'll mutter constantly to yourself "nope, nope, nope" throughout the movie.
A few additional horror elements also failed to resonate with me. Namely, (SPOILER ALERT) the ghostly children feel shoehorned in and completely out of left field. They're not scary, they're not given time or reason to evoke sadness, and their presence frankly didn't make full sense to me. The friend who joined me for the screening had to try and explain to me afterward exactly what had happened and why these kids were even there, because while the basic plot was easy enough to grasp, there is a lot of story and a lot of characters packed in to this film. While also trying to balance tragic psychodrama with flaccid scares, it's clear the screenwriters (three of them, no less) were doing far too much for their own good. In a film like this, and the first of what is surely a wannabe franchise, simplicity and a certain minimalism would have served the material much better.
As a drama, however, I didn't totally hate it. Josh Hutcherson gives a somber, committed performance, and it was refreshing to see him in a suitably complex role. He plays Mike, a security guard looking for work in order to support his much younger sister; he's haunted by the memory of his younger brother being abducted from under his watch many years prior. Then he gets hired as the night watch at the now-defunct Freddy's family entertainment restaurant. Elizabeth Lail gives a somewhat confounding performance (or, rather, a solid performance in a confoundingly written role) that was clearly intentionally underbaked by the writers; so much of the mystery hinges on her sharing what she knows, and she infuriatingly doesn't share information until the finale. Matthew Lillard only shows up in a couple scenes, but he's utterly delightful, naturally.
But the movie is squarely Hutcherson's, and he carries it admirably despite the lackluster material he tries to elevate. His recurring nightmares about his brother's abduction are a bit harrowing, especially when the ghost kids inexplicably show up, but by the third one it's boring, and they just keep happening. Mike's waking life is far more interesting, particularly as he struggles to balance brotherhood and parenthood to his young sister Abby (Piper Rubio). Their Aunt Jane (Mary Stuart Masterson) is angling to get full custody, but Mike knows it's only to collect child support money. His dreams get worse once he is hired at Freddy's, no doubt due to the child disappearances there in the '80s. So when the animatronic band comes to life at night, it feels a bit too busy, despite their annoyingly not-so-scary antics.
I've faulted the writers enough, but I think director Emma Tammi does some pretty cool things with the material as well. It's all much more atmospheric than the material calls for, so her pacing and control of tone feels horribly mismatched. But her keen attention to evocative imagery and color grading is occasionally really beautiful, and I'd have liked to spend more time in the world of the film. She harnesses a sense of nostalgia that has become popular (think Stranger Things) but voids it of much sentiment, turning the accoutrements of childhood materialism into hollow --and dangerous -- waste.
All in all, this movie is just weird. From what I gather, it doesn't do much to appease fans of the games in new or exciting ways, but it also tries to pack in too many obscure plot points and characters to make much sense for the uninitiated. It features some solid suspense and dread, then fumbles in moments that should be earned scares; in fact, the only emotion I felt in this movie was sadness, which actively dampens the frisson we should be feeling. For being almost two hours long, it bounces off too many ideas and plot threads to feel substantial or consequential. For being PG-13, it's both bloodier than it has a right to be and less scary than it deserves (there are some truly terrifying PG-13 movies out there, including Insidious, The Ring, A Quiet Place, so do your homework and stop complaining about that). I just wanted something more original, more thematically satisfying, and more fun.