Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Score: 4.5 / 5

The most aggressively weird movie in a long time, the latest from Daniels is a doozy. It begins as one thing, shifts into something wildly different, and by the halfway point is unrecognizable as a coherent film. And then, by the end, I found myself so awash in feelings and sensations I've never felt in a film before that I stood with my friend outside the cinema and we just giggled and cried and kept shrugging our shoulders because we just couldn't figure out what we were feeling. Everything Everywhere All at Once is, I promise you, not like you might expect. No summary or synopsis can do it justice. I'm not even sure watching it can do it justice. Think of it like an SNL skit -- about everything and about nothing at the same time, so specific and so absurd at once -- pulled into a two-and-a-half-hour arthouse genre flick. Then you'll start to grasp what's really going on here. Maybe.

It begins with the sardonic wit of reality, as first-generation immigrant Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh) struggles to keep her laundromat afloat. They are under audit by the IRS after having incorrectly filed taxes, and her husband Waymond is passively trying to serve her divorce papers; her daughter Joy is pushing for her family to accept her girlfriend, and her typically patriarchal father Gong Gong has recently arrived for a visit from China. Evelyn's life is a bit chaotic at the moment, and it only gets worse when they visit their auditor, Dierdre Beaubeirdre (a hilarious Jamie Lee Curtis). I wondered how long the movie would dwell on this; its tone suggests something a bit more commercially approachable than David Foster Wallace's The Pale King but with the same sour humor. 

It doesn't last long here, as shortly after arriving at their appointment, Waymond is seemingly possessed by a Waymond from another universe. He tells a fantastic story about the other universes, all of which are parallel, and all of which are now in jeopardy because the daughter Joy from his universe has created a black hole, possibly out of spite. It's up to Evelyn to save everyone. But she doesn't have the time or the desire to help. The hilarity of her situation is rather short-lived, at first, because the evil Joy's minions appear and start attacking. Evelyn must "hop" between universes to learn skills and knowledge from alternate Evelyns to fight back. Thankfully she can draw on an Evelyn who excels at mixed martial arts and even an Evelyn with long slappy noodle hands; with all these extra experiences and abilities, she gets spinning a lot, questioning what she thought she knew about her life, the possible lives she could have led, and the value of her family relationships.

As we hop between universes, I was pleased to note that the film is utterly original in its exploration of the multiverse, at a time when this will be the dominant sci-fi trope and will surely be beaten to death by the MCU and DCEU. It is original, that is, even while actively and hilariously nodding at other films and franchises. For example, there is an alternative universe modeled off Ratatouille, ones like The Matrix, even one uncannily like 2001: A Space Odyssey. In one, Evelyn is a movie star earning awards and fame; in one she is a rock watching a wasteland. Even the real world -- most of which takes place in an IRS building -- becomes a strange place in which enemies fight with kung fu and moves out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or even, yes, Shang-Chi. The cubicles become an endless hallway of doldrums that contain an endless supply of bizarre weapons, culminating in usage of an "auditor of the year" award becoming a butt plug. The cinematography and editing change with each universe; sometimes even the aspect ratio changes. The film handles its internal chaos beautifully so that even as things exceeded my conscious comprehension, I could follow its emotional lines through to their payoffs. I'd like to revisit the film sometime, or at least read its screenplay, to appreciate and understand it better. I know I missed significant portions of dialogue as I held my splitting sides.

Michelle Yeoh is amazing, and I teared up more than once watching her masterfully guide the film to its sticking places. Her action-movie prowess is always stunning, but here we can really see what she does with a feature-length feature that very much relies on her role to convey human experience. And she delivers all of them plus some! Using dry wit and biting humor she embraces the comedic aspects even as she uses almost imperceptible facial muscles to convey entire manifestos with a single look. Her talent shines on the top tier, and this is the kind of movie that will help people recognize her brilliance.

No less amazing is Stephanie Hsu, who plays Joy, a role I initially thought little of but who I think probably carries equal emotional weight in the film. Joy's thematic locus rests on an otherwise undefined but strongly emphasized generational and cultural divide between Evelyn, her father, and her offspring. Joy's queerness and feminism are foreign to Evelyn, who feels growing disappointment that Joy isn't embracing the opportunities Evelyn's hard work has made possible. Similarly, Evelyn's lifestyle and values are a far cry from her father's (who is played by the wonderfully voiced James Hong), and these restive tensions come to a head when the black hole -- spoiler alert: it's an everything bagel -- spirals its way into our universe. Thankfully, according to the film's apparent logic, the destructive void of generational disconnect and regret and disappointment can be ended when we choose to love and accept and learn from each other, especially those of us in different generations. I'm not sure if that's the main message of this film, or really a valid one, but it's the one that stuck out to me after a single viewing and I'm running with it for now.

Come for Michelle Yeoh. Stay for the chaos. Enjoy the novelty and beauty and hilarity and weirdness along the way. It's a unique and fabulous experience for your senses.

Ambulance (2022)

Score: 2.5 / 5

It's pretty much what you'd expect from the trailer, or by knowing that Michael Bay is directing again. Thankfully, this one doesn't call for the outlandish over-reliance on special visual effects that made him famous with the Transformers franchise, but beyond that it's very much a Bay blockbuster effort. His trademarks here manifest in exhilarating chase sequences, massive explosions and gunfights, and bewildering editing and dizzying kinetic cinematography. And despite some heavy-hitting star talent, it's also a pretty unremarkable film that might have been better as an extended episode for a serial drama like 9-1-1. 

Struggling veteran Will (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II of Candyman, The Trial of the Chicago 7, The Matrix Resurrections) is in a bind to finance his sick wife's life-saving surgery. He asks his adoptive brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal) for help, and gets roped into a bank heist. Danny knows what he's doing -- his latent sociopathy peeks through occasionally in a masterful performance that could easily have been single-note -- but even the best-laid plans will go awry when players are blinded by the love of money. After sudden violence and graphic bloodshed, the brothers are forced to hijack an ambulance as a getaway vehicle, keeping as dubious hostages an EMT nurse Cam Thompson (Eiza Gonzalez) and a slowly dying police officer. Yeah, the nurse is Latina and the brothers are black and white and the camera lingers on the cop's badge more than once; it's a typically performative bit of diversity and hot topic-baiting that doesn't end up meaning much.

But this movie isn't a riveting psychological thriller or fraught social commentary piece. It's an action movie, and Bay knows what he's doing in that arena. Ambulance is indeed a roller coaster to watch, wild and kinetic in its palpable adrenaline rush. The opening sequence is arguably its best, balancing bits of multiple characters and their stories and bouncing between them to show their interplay and inevitable collision. Once the actual heist devolves into bloody chaos, the film's stakes are pretty much ratcheted up to their apex; things shift a bit as the hostages consider fighting back and the cops pursuing the brothers attempt to negotiate, but it's all held at a plateau that feels more like a test of endurance than one of maintaining interest.

The film reaches a particularly contrived but effective climax when, during the final chase, Cam is performing open surgery to save the cop while his blood gushes like a fountain and Will serves as a human blood bag and Danny is driving the wrong way on an overpass being chased by helicopters. It's completely insane, and everything goes wrong, and it's all just a breathless flood of images and deafening sounds and dizzying camerawork. I said it felt like a roller coaster, and it's telling that a repeated moment in this film is what appears to be a drone shot, zooming up the side of an LA skyscraper and then zooming back down until the audience's collective stomach is in its throat. There's nothing profound or meaningful or moving about Ambulance, but it's still a fun time in the cinemas before we head into summer blockbuster season.

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

Score: 2 / 5

Do franchises ever end anymore? When I heard Christopher Landon was returning to write a new installment of Paranormal Activity, I confess myself a little excited but mostly bewildered. The franchise spent a lot of time and money in 2015 to fully end the cycle Oren Peli had created in 2007. The Ghost Dimension, which split fans due to its heavy reliance on CGI and poor narrative focus determined to tie up some of the loose ends that had dangled for far too long, effectively ended the franchise on a note divergent from the material that made the franchise so spectacular and effective. As such, it was popularly considered a disappointment. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that someone wanted to create a course-correcting new entry.

But Next of Kin is a shockingly bizarre entry that nobody wanted and probably even fewer have actually seen, much less appreciated. I had my doubts when it was announced as a Paramount+ exclusive film, but I was willing to give it a try anyway. But there is essentially no connection between this new film and the previous six, not in plot, character, setting, or even aesthetic. None. Sure, it carries the appearance of a found footage film, one shot admittedly with some beautiful cinematography, but the logic is completely gone. The excessive edits of the film bounce back and forth between what appear to be multiple cameras (often in unlikely places) when there is really only one in use. Repeatedly in the film I guffawed aloud as the edits revealed impossibilities in in-world camera techniques that made it impossible to suspend my disbelief entirely. By the climax, I was a but accustomed to the bizarre unbelievability, and director William Eubank (Underwater) did start to embrace the visual chaos he unleashed, but I was too far gone at that point to relate to the terror experienced by the protagonist.

Margot (Emily Bader) recently discovered that her mother -- who abandoned her as a child -- was a member of an Amish community. Curious about her past, she has enlisted her boyfriend and friends (for sound and camera capture) to help make a documentary. One wonders if her "documentary" is for YouTube only. But upon meeting the community members, her suspicions are piqued: her mother was clearly a controversial figure among locals, as several refuse to talk about her or cast dark looks upon mentioning her name. Perhaps this uptight community conceals the reason why her mother let her go. And where is Margot's mother now? The film's earlier scenes are clearly well-researched on Amish people (the reactions of the children to seeing outsiders are especially accurate, to a chilling and mildly comical level), but it also heavily relies on Othering them to create a somewhat icky "Scary Amish People" dread for most of the film. Even when -- spoiler alert -- this community is revealed to be not Amish at all, the taste is still bitter.

It's not an original idea. I thought multiple times of similar movies like The Village, The Ritual, The Visit, and even The Wicker Man and Midsommar, to which this one is clearly related aesthetically and thematically: Outsiders enter a sacred community whose religious or social ties antiquate them and who harbor a terrible secret. Here, there is a supernatural element not far off from The Blair Witch Project or the previous Paranormal Activity films, but the actual plot points and setting have nothing to do with the existing franchise. The only connection is the ultimate presence -- you guessed it -- of the same demon whose behaviors gave the series its title. Asmodeus (also called "Toby" in previous installments, a wry reference to the biblical/apocryphal Book of Tobit in which the demon prominently features) is indeed the being to whom this religious community devotes itself, and he's causing problems again as he tries to incarnate or manifest himself. Other than his presence, and the loose found footage format, Next of Kin felt keenly like an original story that was hijacked or repurposed by the studio and rebranded with Paranormal Activity ideas. With some work, it could just as easily have been a sequel to any other film I've already mentioned here.

Morbius (2022)

Score: 3 / 5

I'm so tired. Fandoms can be nice places to meet people and see creativity blossom in support of franchises that mean a lot culturally and personally, but increasingly they seem filled with toxic, hateful people who just want to tear other things apart in cruel and hypocritical ways. While the MCU is currently blessed with a fairly solid fanbase, almost all others suffer, even those adjacent to that behemoth. Take Sony's repeated attempts at breaking into Marvel properties, each of which I have thoroughly enjoyed. Its most recent attempts seem bent on exploring the villains as antiheroes, hence the Venom series and upcoming Kraven the Hunter film. The latest, based on one of my favorite characters from the comics, is very much in line with the odd aesthetic choices Sony has cultivated, and I am totally here for it. Apparently not everyone has been, but as usual, the clamor online largely sounds like angry children decrying the film as "bad" or "terrible" without actually stating reasons for their hatred and without acknowledging that their opinions aren't objective. So let's talk about Morbius.

The "living vampire" here takes the form of Jared Leto, who for the first time in several years actually looks and acts kind of normal on screen. He's recognizable, despite lots of effects to make him initially appear sickly and frail, and it's refreshing to remember he can actually perform when not covered in prosthetics and hiding behind caricatured mannerisms. Surprisingly physical here, his Dr. Michael Morbius is instantly believable in the film's early scenes, desperate to cure himself of a rare blood disease. His previous work has resulted in blue, artificial blood that works for many people, including children with similar illnesses, and has won him a Nobel Prize that he rejects early on. He just wants a better life and permanent salvation.

Anyone could guess that he'll end up getting the opposite. And soon enough, after collecting vampire bats from Central America and experimenting on them, he ends up splicing genes and fusing blood with them, transforming himself into a super strong, super fast vampire. Most of the middle of the film, as with many origin stories of super people, occupies its time with its protagonist learning the limits of his powers, which include echolocation and, somehow, a keen ability to fly. His bloodlust is sporadic, and it occasionally turns him into a monstrous gargoyle-like creature; at one point he says "You won't like me when I'm hungry" and it's unexpectedly hilarious in a delightful, metafictional way. The film's mythology leaves much to be desired, but then, don't most of these stories? As Morbius himself once notes in the film, there isn't as much "science stuff" to it as he first thought, and I think the screenwriters included that little gem just to piss off the hecklers.

With Leto's tortured performance in the middle of all the chaos -- and trust me, the plot is pretty chaotic, to say nothing of the action -- I found a lot of surprisingly thematic meat to chew on. Much like Tom Hardy's nuanced and vaudevillian turn as Venom, Leto digs into physical movement and earnest emotion as Morbius, questioning the extent of illness or addiction as it relates to his behaviors. Less effective is what the visual effects crew does to him; his appearance is great, but the CGI around him never quite manages to make sense. Smoky trails of residue follow him around when he moves quickly, in effects that feel ripped from these kinds of movies in the late '90s or early '00s, and when his ears prick up, they look rippled and pulsing like cords on a harp in an effect that had me actually retching in my seat. It's uniquely horrid.

If he's a hero, why do his attempts to help others result in murder (especially graphic murder)? Why, in the film's early scenes, does no one blink an eye that Morbius's ethically shameful and completely illegal experiments lead him to international waters for the deed? But then, does it matter? It allows for some fun nods to other vampiric fiction, such as the drifting ship littered with bloodless corpses (Dracula) named the Murnau (director of Nosferatu). It also allows the characters to return home changed, a crucial moment in any superhero film, which sets up the primary external conflict for the plot. Enter Matt Smith as Morbius's surrogate brother, jealous and wealthy man with the same blood disease who takes the same "cure" but embraces the more monstrous side of his new identity. He's the primary villain, apart from Morbius fighting with his own impulses and lusts, and Smith is really wonderful in the film. 

I love that we finally have a superhero film that is an honest-to-Stan-Lee horror film. I don't love that it's only PG-13, like Venom, and so can't quite give itself over to the necessary elements that could make it fabulous like Deadpool. It's never quite as dark as it wants to be, though I felt suitably icky with dread multiple times, such as when a nurse walks down a hallway with motion-sensor lights and gets stalked by a vampire. It's not nearly as gory or violent as it should be, and most of the action is sadly unwatchable due to uninspired cinematography, an excess of VFX, and bewildering edits. But it's still a fairly good time, despite a general lack of humor, and hopefully a suitably dark entry in the burgeoning Sinister Six franchise for Sony.

The Lost City (2022)

Score: 4 / 5

I don't usually go for comedies, especially ones that combine adventure and romance, but The Lost City was the unexpected delight of the season for me. In no ways does it try to reinvent anything, yet its familiarity breeds ingenuity and joy. Essentially taking what we all love about middle-aged rom-coms and silly adventure flicks and mashing them together, it works as fairly mindless and fun entertainment. In the hands of the directors and this stellar cast, and a screenplay laced with gold, it's a lot smarter and a lot more heartfelt than I expected. I'd compare it tonally to Isn't It Romantic in that way, even though it looks and feels more like Romancing the Stone or countless other adventures with varying degrees of romance and comedy (Jumanji, The Mummy, The African Queen, Jungle Cruise). It's a movie that knows exactly what it is and who its audience is, and gives what we want and expect while still delighting us each step of the journey.

Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) is trying desperately to stay afloat. The famed writer of smutty romance-adventures, she has grown disdainful for her own work since the untimely death of her husband. Her grief has made her reclusive and misanthropic, and she's hit a writer's block with her new book. When her agent Beth (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) pushes her into promoting her latest book on tour with the wildly popular cover model Alan (Channing Tatum), Loretta suggests that she's done writing stories in this series. The agent, the model, and the fans won't have it; they love the hunky Dash McMahon too much. We get many hints, too, that Loretta's stories contain nuggets of gold in them; she actually did archeological research with her deceased husband to inform her fiction.

After successfully derailing a public appearance with "Dash," Loretta is abducted by a fan. Well, a fan who is also a criminal in the form of Abigail Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe), an eccentric and vengeful billionaire who wants his own fame, fortune, and glory. Fairfax has located the titular lost city from one of Loretta's books and needs her to translate clues that might lead them to a hidden treasure. Time is ticking because, of course, the treasure is located near an active volcano. Why not? This is a highly contrived plot, but by the point the plot is properly laid out in the first, let's say, twenty or thirty minutes, we pretty much know every beat the movie will hit. And it does, in spades. What a pleasure.

The doubtful and resistant Loretta has no intention of helping Fairfax, but he takes her anyway (while destroying the world's largest charcuterie display, tragically). Alan, who seems to be somewhat smitten with Loretta -- or at least desperate to keep his famed character alive and popular -- gives chase with the help of a former mentor and meditation guru/fitness trainer Jack Trainer (Brad Pitt). And so ensues the rollicking, somewhat swashbuckling adventure that takes our cast to a remote Caribbean island in search of love, treasure, and themselves. Once they all reconvene, in one of the film's best action sequences to the sound of "Red Right Hand", things really kick into high gear. A principal joy here is the acting from stars who are simply doing what they do best. Tatum keenly understands his own appeal as a caring and slightly stupid hot guy; Bullock has made a career out of understanding her own appeal as a sexy, disillusioned, and somewhat awkward intellectual with walls to tear down. Together, they share some of the best chemistry I've seen in a comedy in years.

Everything about this movie is charming. Its supporting cast works well, though Radcliffe's character feels underdeveloped and sometimes forced into a narrative that clearly just needed a caricatured villain (though Radcliffe himself delivers admirably). It's bright and cute and often laugh-out-loud hilarious. It's also exciting and rousing and sexy and surprisingly emotional. It's everything you want from this kind of movie, and it's smart about playing itself accordingly; the Nee brothers are simply taking an old recipe, using A-list ingredients, and injecting it with fresh and jubilant energy. This is one of those movies I enjoyed so much I could have happily watched it again shortly after the first screening, and will probably stay on my repertoire of date night/sick day/rainy day flicks, and it would pair beautifully with tequila cocktails or any shade of wine.