Score: 2 / 5
Not that anyone was excited about another Cinderella story, but I was looking forward to this one. The story gets revived perennially for a reason, and musicals often worm their way into people's hearts. Add a fun and diverse cast, lots of pretty costumes and special effects, and make it available to stream? It's sure to be a good time!
But writer and director Kay Cannon (writer of Pitch Perfect) seems to have been swallowed by the beast she made here. Much like the live action remake Disney produced in 2015, this one suffers from lack of inspiration. There appears to be very little originality in its ideas, and the film flounders until it founders in a sea of its own purposelessness. Nothing is added to the characters that hasn't been added (and better) before, there are no narrative surprises, and even the jukebox-style music isn't a new lens for this story. What Cannon does exceptionally well is drive home the overwhelming spectacle and draw special attention to Ashley Wallen's (The Greatest Showman, Jingle Jangle, Ghost the Musical) exciting choreography.
Singer Camila Cabello plays Ella, and I just didn't get what she was doing. She looked pretty awful while singing, as if she's never lip-synced before, and her voice felt hopelessly filtered and doctored. Then again, I've never heard anything she's done before, so maybe that's just the way she sounds, which is unfortunate. Her acting was all over the place, no doubt due to the lackluster way she's treated by the screenplay. Cannon didn't give this character much of a reason to exist in yet another rendition. Drew Barrymore and Anne Hathaway had so much agency and inner complexity, Julie Andrews had a better voice, and Brandy had a better voice and shattered the diversity ceiling. Here, Ella's dreams of being a fashion designer and owning her own business feel a few decades late in tone and scope. While there are some suggestions of diversity in the casting of this film, it pretty much only goes skin-deep, so to speak, and doesn't affect much in terms of tone or theme.
Idina Menzel is one of the only good things in this movie, and we can certainly hope this will entice her to star in more live-action features. Playing Ella's stepmother with gusto, she dazzles in two solo numbers (including Madonna's "Material Girl") and is clearly having more fun than anyone else. The film even gives her a bit of sympathetic background, making her character infinitely more interesting than in Disney's aforementioned remake. Billy Porter also steps in for some fun as Ella's fabulous fairy godperson in shining gold folds, though he's sadly only in one scene. The rest of the cast is just weird, and for the most part don't get to do much: Pierce Brosnan and Minnie Driver are the angsty (and, discouragingly, aging) royals, and their proto-feminist daughter (Tallulah Greive) is the butt of more jokes than I was comfortable counting. James Corden even pops in awkwardly as one of Ella's mouse-turned-footman, which was just unpleasant. And then there's the prince, Nicholas Galitzine, looking very pretty and singing nicely in several songs, but whose character is somewhere between pitifully stupid and hopelessly spoiled for the entire movie.
There is some really great dancing in this movie, and the production design and gorgeous costumes make it a really lovely viewing experience. Just be sure to leave your brain at the door. The film's jukebox music is, for me at least, mostly forgettable because I either didn't know the songs or didn't particularly like their employment. For example, the prince's rendition of "Somebody to Love," while serviceable, left me bitter because Ella Enchanted already did that, and much better. The opening number features the townsfolk dancing to Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation," but there's not much social justice activity going on in this story. The screenplay can hardly even handle its own unbearably cheesy dialogue; I wondered more than once if it was aiming for camp, but by the end I realized the movie really does believe in its own superficial charm, which makes everyone's efforts to breathe life into their lines all the more pathetic. Case in point: the repeated comment about the prince getting spanked on his "tush-tush." Feel icky? Yeah. That's about right.