The summer of 2028: ah, yes, I remember it well. A riot breaks out in Los Angeles in a war-torn, dystopian future world that looks and feels like a preview of Blade Runner. The cityscape is dark and dank, saturated with rich lights from poor sources in an impressionistic neo-noir fever dream. Intrigued yet? You should be.
The Hotel Artemis lies nestled in a crowded block, identifiable only by the neon light crowning its roof. Its gorgeous interior harbors a secret hospital catering to criminals. What? Yeah, I know. Run by the Nurse (Jodie Foster, who really just needs to be in more movies) and her stern rules -- no guns, no cops, one at a time -- the hotel/hospital seems to operate smoothly, largely thanks to Everest (Dave Bautista), the orderly. The set is gorgeous, costumes are cool, lighting phenomenal, and a solid cast perform admirably.
Unfortunately, the film itself is a confused mess. It features an awkward, futuristic setting with high-tech devices without ever explaining how Los Angeles became this criminal war zone, how or why this hotel/hospital exists, or why anything we're seeing is important as a story, artwork, or even entertainment. The characters are so specific (beautifully so) that we cannot identify with or even sympathize with them, with the possible exception of the Nurse herself. That said, though, even she is so idiosyncratic and -- no thanks to the screenplay -- banally emotional that I was put off. The only character I wanted to like was the Wolf King (because it's a great title and he's played by Jeff Goldblum), who is basically the Big Bad of LA in a decade. And he's the one we're definitely not supposed to like.
What bothers me the most about this film is that it's actually quite impressive, artistically. There are some really cool moments, including Bautista being hilarious and hunky, Sofia Boutella being totally badass, and even Zachary Quinto emoting like crazy through metal bars. But no amount of design and beauty can cover up the fact that the story doesn't quite make sense. Actually, more than once I wondered if this was a sequel to something or a prequel of something. There is no character development or exposition in this movie, and yet the characters and setting are brilliantly thought out. I kept thinking that this would be a nice climactic ending to an earlier story.
Instead, we got a haphazard, half-baked mess that plays out like a game. Who can catch the most references, get the inside jokes, appreciate what we've done? If you can't, you lose.
IMDb: Hotel Artemis
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